No Nonsense Diet

Nowadays there is a new revolution sweeping the slimmers of the world. “Slimmers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your calories” is the clarion call of this revolution. This revolution is the No-Carbohydrates-all Protein diet which promises to take people who are fat enough to alter global weather patterns (now you know what causes those swirling white patterns on the weather news) and to turn them in to all muscle no fat no nonsense people, who would look like those cool, confident, macho, muscular hunks (e.g. Serena Williams). Leading the way is what is called Atkins diet.What has happened to all the people? Whatever happened to enjoying one’s meal, I will never know. In the good old days, you never bothered about carbohydrates or phosphates or vertebrates. You just ate. Especially if you were served dinner by my Grandmother, who must have been convinced by some professional witchdoctors that any food that was visible on the dinner table after 8 PM must be emptied in my guts. Call in the CRPF if you want to but she made sure that the last person (i.e. the Author) finished off whatever was left on the table. Our family dinners were needless to say very brief affairs even accounting for the time spent by me in the doctors waiting room. If I had told my granny, that carbohydrates are bad for me, she would have laughed like a hysterical Tun Tun and would have still used a funnel against my mouth to tilt the vessels into. That was my Granny, come Carbohydrates or Proteins, she knew her priorities. The point being meals were to be enjoyed for the taste.
Bollywood too has set some really unrealistic expectations of human pulchritude. What happened to the old days when we had heroines like Asha Parekh and Mumtaz (or Tamil heroines like KR Vijaya and Jyothi lakshmi for those who know). I think Shammi Kapoors and MGR’s should have been honored with Presidential gold medals, if not for anything than at least for cycling double seat uphill while humming songs, an activity which should be made mandatory for the Indian Cricket teams’ fitness trials. But gone are those days. So instead of our plain Janardhans appearing on screen, even the guys who appear holding a glass in the backdrop while the Hero sings solo on a Piano with his fingers playing a random tune which if actually played would scare away the most tenacious of bacteria, look picture perfect. A bit too perfect…everyone seems to have been carefully sculpted and calibrated by Plastic surgeons, Dieticians, Gym instructors, Beauticians, Hair dressers etc. So you have these perfect people, dressed in their perfect clothes walking around in their perfect worlds, where Rice is a controlled substance and eating Ice cream is punishable by lethal injection (except in West Bengal where they have to sit through Politburo meetings). I am all for healthy eating but overdoing it is one thing. I am yet to meet a person who hates Ice cream or Rassogollas or Chocolates. The same goes for Rice or Chapatis. But since these are Carbohydrate based, our new age fitness funtooshes have given them the heave ho and survive on boiled vegetables, sprouted Dal (I call this Shyam’s Diet) and fruits which give them the happiness levels of the man who can move his bowels only once a year. I strongly disagree with all this tiddly-taddly diet advice.My theory is this; unlike A K Hangal or DD news readers (who I swear are around since 1639) you have one life. Eat healthy, drink merrily and enjoy it. It is impossible to make your life perfect (though Michael Schumacher has come pretty close) or fool proof. So why make it worse? By all means eat healthy, greens, Dal etc but never forget the Chikki.