define Irony

I just came back from a walk with a few of my friends who could not stop as to what their toddlers were upto now a days one kid pulls down everything in sight and on wears his fathers id card and paints himself in ketchup and idli's,and one of my neighbor cant wait till his daughter starts to speak and walk  properly and another neighbor wants to go deaf (not because of his wife for once)
Is'nt it ironic
You Spend the First Two Years of the kids Lives Teaching Them to Walk and Talk -- and the Next 19 Telling Them to Sit Down and Shut Up.

My Daddy P M

Hi all the below article is totally a product of my dysfunctional humor please dont feel bad about any part of it

 
Yesterday, Dad announced his candidacy for Prime minister( for a few minutes forget that he has not even stood for his school leadership elections). Today, he is on the phone, lining up his cabinet. Dad is the type of guy who believes in being prepared. By picking his cabinet before he hits the campaign trail, he’ll be ready when he’s elected. This way, Dad can step in immediately, forgoing the usual six-month casting couch period needed by professional politicians. Here’s Dad’s planned cabinet:

Deputy Prime Minister: Dad’s best bud, Gundanna uncle, has long been retired and seems bored by it, he will serve as Deputy Prime Minister. Dad thinks Gundanna uncle will make a great DPM as he and Dad share the same beliefs; plus, by being DPM, Gundanna uncle will have plenty of time to play free cell and Solitaire. And can also have an excuse to miss yoga.

National Security Advisor: Upon election, Dad will immediately pardon Veerappan; thereby enabling Veerappan to possess his guns in the Parliament Veerappan will then be appointed National Security Advisor. Dad believes Veerappan’s moustache will be an asset to us all and scare away Pervez musharraf ‘s tiny moustache, Heh Heh!!!

Secretary of Defense: Dad will ask Jayalalitha and Karunanidhi to “fight” for this position in an “Indo-Pak war” scenario. This will be “winner take all”. The loser will be awarded some inconsequential position, such as “Ministry for women’s welfare” or an Ambassadorship in Lithuania.

Secretary of Treasury: Ramanan, for people who know him or even have heard about him know that he’d be able to handle our national debt without difficulty.

Ambassador to United Kingdom: The best choice for this position is Usha Aunty partly for the fact that she’s already there; naming her grand daughter by now, I think.

Minister of Education: The comedian, Jaggesh, from Karnataka will institute a “How to Speak pronounce Aooooooooooo in government schools and writing dirty dialogues in secondary schools will be a compulsory elective any how science and math’s are getting complicated with all this CET row.

Minister of Commerce: Deve gowda, any explanation needed?.  Minister of Style & Good Taste: some guy who sells dad all those”madi panche”in malleshwaram. I’m sure he won’t have any difficulty taking a leave of absence.

Minister for IT: Laloo Prasad Yadav, who else can design earthen laptops computers with biodegradable chips which can be handed at 4 times the cost of current ones still being totally useless for all purposes and all software have to be written in Bihari uphcourse

Ambassador to China: Mrs Rathna Gundanna, well she’s already planning to go there so why not on government money

Hey we haven’t concluded all the positions and I’m the one heading the casting couch this time and waiting to rake in the moolah, so drop by with a Swiss account or two for me, will you…

And hey dad sorry about this I’m going to be the Opposition party leader ably assisted with Murali ……………Just for the heck of it….

 
See you in parliament and hey don’t bother about building that house your next house is waiting for you, and in case you did'nt know your new address is 

S.Nagarajan
# 10, Janpath,
 New Delhi 110001

after thoughts

On the other hand health conscious people are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying ofnothing.

No Nonsense Diet

Nowadays there is a new revolution sweeping the slimmers of the world. “Slimmers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your calories” is the clarion call of this revolution. This revolution is the No-Carbohydrates-all Protein diet which promises to take people who are fat enough to alter global weather patterns (now you know what causes those swirling white patterns on the weather news) and to turn them in to all muscle no fat no nonsense people, who would look like those cool, confident, macho, muscular hunks (e.g. Serena Williams). Leading the way is what is called Atkins diet.What has happened to all the people? Whatever happened to enjoying one’s meal, I will never know. In the good old days, you never bothered about carbohydrates or phosphates or vertebrates. You just ate. Especially if you were served dinner by my Grandmother, who must have been convinced by some professional witchdoctors that any food that was visible on the dinner table after 8 PM must be emptied in my guts. Call in the CRPF if you want to but she made sure that the last person (i.e. the Author) finished off whatever was left on the table. Our family dinners were needless to say very brief affairs even accounting for the time spent by me in the doctors waiting room. If I had told my granny, that carbohydrates are bad for me, she would have laughed like a hysterical Tun Tun and would have still used a funnel against my mouth to tilt the vessels into. That was my Granny, come Carbohydrates or Proteins, she knew her priorities. The point being meals were to be enjoyed for the taste.
Bollywood too has set some really unrealistic expectations of human pulchritude. What happened to the old days when we had heroines like Asha Parekh and Mumtaz (or Tamil heroines like KR Vijaya and Jyothi lakshmi for those who know). I think Shammi Kapoors and MGR’s should have been honored with Presidential gold medals, if not for anything than at least for cycling double seat uphill while humming songs, an activity which should be made mandatory for the Indian Cricket teams’ fitness trials. But gone are those days. So instead of our plain Janardhans appearing on screen, even the guys who appear holding a glass in the backdrop while the Hero sings solo on a Piano with his fingers playing a random tune which if actually played would scare away the most tenacious of bacteria, look picture perfect. A bit too perfect…everyone seems to have been carefully sculpted and calibrated by Plastic surgeons, Dieticians, Gym instructors, Beauticians, Hair dressers etc. So you have these perfect people, dressed in their perfect clothes walking around in their perfect worlds, where Rice is a controlled substance and eating Ice cream is punishable by lethal injection (except in West Bengal where they have to sit through Politburo meetings). I am all for healthy eating but overdoing it is one thing. I am yet to meet a person who hates Ice cream or Rassogollas or Chocolates. The same goes for Rice or Chapatis. But since these are Carbohydrate based, our new age fitness funtooshes have given them the heave ho and survive on boiled vegetables, sprouted Dal (I call this Shyam’s Diet) and fruits which give them the happiness levels of the man who can move his bowels only once a year. I strongly disagree with all this tiddly-taddly diet advice.My theory is this; unlike A K Hangal or DD news readers (who I swear are around since 1639) you have one life. Eat healthy, drink merrily and enjoy it. It is impossible to make your life perfect (though Michael Schumacher has come pretty close) or fool proof. So why make it worse? By all means eat healthy, greens, Dal etc but never forget the Chikki.

To all fellow triers

I use this whenever I'm down,it helps me to bounce back
 
“Mile by mile it's a trial;
  yard by yard it's hard;
  but inch by inch it's a cinch."
  
 
   Rishi